Why do We Do It?

Before you read any further, I would like to put a disclaimer out there that this is not a post to bash anyone, or a statement of feminism, or any other sort of extreme view on worldly issues. It’s not. It’s just something I have been thinking over the past few days, and thought I would just put my thoughts on a page, nothing more, nothing less.

Over the past few weeks, it has been a common occurrence to hear about girls, women, my friends and their relationship problems. We all have them, and it’s totally fine! But, when women are staying with people who treat them like absolute shit, or make them unhappy, or even when they are single, and make it their mission to find boys (or girls for that matter), it makes me feel all shrivelled up inside. I don’t really know how else to put it, but it’s that feeling where your stomach just tenses up in frustration, and anger, and sadness all at the same time.

This is not to say that I am being biased to my friends, because I feel this to be the case for anyone, boy or girl, single or not. It is horrible to watch people become a lesser version of themselves because of how their partner and/or friend is treating them. You deserve so much better than to surround yourself with people who fill your head with negative thoughts. Don’t be with a person who doesn’t support you, doesn’t make you feel like who you want to be, and more importantly, doesn’t give you those warm and fuzzy’s inside!

I know this is nothing ground breaking. My thoughts aren’t original, and probably, maybe, naive even. It is probably so much easier said than done, but I just wish that people could see how fucking great they are, and didn’t settle for situations they don’t deserve.

Take Ella, for example. She is a top girl (totally made up, but just follow along)… She is funny, smart, beautiful in her own quirky way and most importantly, a strong woman. She finds a boy. Let’s call him Jake. At first it’s cute, and flirty, and they tag each other in memes on facebook all the time. Things are looking peachy… Then a month or so passes by, and they become comfortable. Jake starts to let slip comments about her physical appearance, he says she looks fat in that dress, that she shouldn’t wear those jeans, that she should go to the gym. So, Ella goes to the gym, and starts to change herself for someone else. Jake never comments on her efforts, but instead, says he can’t notice anything. He starts to tell her that she couldn’t find any better than him… He starts to fuck with her head to the point that Ella isn’t that funny, smart, beautiful girl anymore, but a tired, shy version of herself. I’m sure you get the picture, and you all want to metaphorically punch Jake in the mouth. You all want to grab Ella by the shoulders and tell her to get the hell out of there!

I want every person out there who reads this… or doesn’t… to know how brilliant you are! Don’t let the Jakes of the world pull you down and treat you like shit. You are the shit! You are so much better than what the Jakes deserve, and don’t let anyone tell you any different. That goes for friends as well, only let the Ella’s of the world into your life. No one has time for douchey Jake’s bullshit…

Live your days with your friends, and embracing each moment, not doing things for other people! If you’re out at a club with your squad, you dance with your squad and be with your squad. Don’t go hunting down the nearest pack of boys in the hope of finding the one. No one wants to tell their kids that ‘mummy and daddy met in a club, and got so drunk that they couldn’t remember each other’s names in the morning.’

Enjoy you, enjoy your mates, and let life do it’s thing, because you are fucking great!

To quote the biblical Beyoncé, ‘If you’re independent, I congratulate you’.